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Friday, 12 March 2010

Update.

Late I know, laptop is failing at life.

For the first time, I've found someone I hate leaving.
I've found someone that I can't get enough of.
I've found someone that accepts me for who I am
& doesn’t tell me I need to change.

Yeah, about your face. you should totally get that fixed.

Listen kid, love is the only chance for happiness you'll ever get in this life,
and if you're going to let a little thing like rejection stand in your way,
baby, you might as well stay right there on the ground,
because people are going to be walking over you for the rest of your life.

I’m not the silly romantic you think.
I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars.
I don’t want gemstones or gold.
I have those things already.
I want a steady hand.
A kind soul.
I want to fall asleep, and wake, knowing my heart is safe.
I want to love and be loved.

I can't say I'm proud of my life,
but I can say I'm proud that I've learned.
I've learned that I can't rely on everyone,
but I can't expect everyone to hurt me either.
I know some things don't work out,
but I know everything has been for the better.
I can't guarantee I'll be able to walk around with a smile.
But I know where I've been,
and where I'm going.
I know who I am and who my friends are.
I've had some tough stuff thrown at me,
but I've gotten by.
I'm not one to complain,
so I'll keep trying.
And in the end,
I'll know I did my best.

Stop planning your life and let it plan itself.
Quit trying to find the perfect boy and let him find you.
If you don't want drama, then don't talk crap.
Things are only as complicated as you make them.

I believe that we are who we choose to be.
Nobody's going to come and save you,
you've got to save yourself.
Nobody's going to give you anything,
you've got to go out and fight for it.
Nobody knows what you want except for you.
And nobody will be as sorry as you if you don't get it.
So don't give up on your dreams.

Breakdowns are breakthroughs.
It takes hitting the bottom
to find your way to the top.

I'm caught inside the memories,
the promises are yesterdays.
I just can't walk away cause after
loving you, I can never be the same.

you told her that you loved her, but you don't.

Kids, you need to know some things. First off, life isnt all about
who you're dating or what you're wearing. As much as you
think people care, they really don't care how perfect your hair
is, or how ripped you are. Yes, you need to take care of
yourself, but there are more important things in life. The world
doesn't care about your 90 % average, or your first place
dance award. Acne will go away, and your hair cut will grow
back out. Life is meant to be fun, it's about living for moments,
and not for people. Life is about how you live, not how you
look. You CAN spend your weekend lying in bed watching
movies, or you CAN go out and party all weekend. As long as
you're enjoying life, and as long as you're happy, it doesn't
matter what you're doing. If its not fun, its not worth doing. So
please be yourself and enjoy life. It's too short to be
miserable..

Tuesday, 09 March 2010

Big update later of quotes <3

Random Secrets I've Found.
Bold if you can relate.
[blazingbulletsxx]

Every night I picture you falling asleep next to me with your arm around me. I want it more than anything.

I love him, he loves her.

I am terrified of the future.

I want you to come back to me. Even though I always know deep in my heart that I want you to be happy, even if it’s not with me.

I wish I could tell you the things me and your best friend used to say about you. Now I don't talk to either of you and I still can't say anything. I wish I didn't care so much.

I fear you don't love me as much as I love you.

I've never even been kissed. I've never hugged someone that I've gone out with. I have no life. I'm addicted to the internet.

I purposely put on movies, that I know will make me cry so that I can cry until there are no tears left.

I can't walk past you with out my stomach turning. You lied to me and you continue to lie about the lie to everyone else.

My "best friend" has a new best friend. And she doesn't even care about me anymore. I give and give and give. And get nothing in return. It hurts my heart. A lot.

He made me start having urges of hurting myself again.

I love you and I can't tell you, for that I'm beginning to hate you.

I'm debating suicide.

If I could only have one wish, I just wish that he could be on the same path as I am.

If I get skinny, will you love me again?

Every time I have feelings for someone and they feel the same way about me, I run. I'm afraid I'll never know what love is.

Please give me a sign. I'm so sick of debating whether or not something will ever happen between us without knowing if you'd ever want it to.

He doesn't understand me. it's the worst thing. And I am dying.

I practice my autograph.

I'm too full of life and charm to be this lonely.

Sometimes I still wonder how things would be if we never broke up two years ago.

I crave to be different and to stand out. I wish I had the audacity to actually do something extreme.

Friday, 05 March 2010

tell me i'm special, even when i know i'm not.

P.S.- Do you know that I love you?
I probably already told you, but I'm going to keep saying it.
There are no lies in these words, not one.
Your smile keeps me alive.
You are one more reason to keep fighting.
I would give you my soul for comfort;
even if it leaves me dark and cold.
& when I hold you close, I can feel your heartbeat,
and I think to myself...
I've found that 'someone' at last.

So there is this boy;
the way he laughs makes me smile,
the way he talks gives me butterflies,
and just everything about him makes me happy.
I would introduce you,
but you would fall in love with him too.

Sometimes you feel everything and nothing all at once.
Sometimes you find yourself smiling, while missing
something at the same time.
At times you can absolutely love a person, while
wanting to hate them. Life comes without guarantees;
but you can expect that smiling will brighten your face,
laughing will enhance your eyes and falling in love
will change your life.

You may not be her first, her last or her only.
She loved before, and she may love again,
but if she loves you now, what else matters?
She's not perfect, you aren't either, and
the two of you may never be perfect together,
but if she can make you laugh, cause you to
think twice, and admit to being human and
making mistakes; hold onto her and give her
the most you can.
She may not be thinking about you every second
of the day, but she will give you a part of her that
she knows you can break- her heart. So don't hurt her,
don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more
than she can give.
Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when
she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.

Just because she comes off strong
doesn't mean she didn't fall asleep crying;
and even though she acts like nothing is wrong,
maybe, just maybe.. she's really good at lying.

A commitment isn’t having the label of being boyfriend and girlfriend.
It isn’t seeing and talking to each other every single say.
It’s just a promise. A promise that you don’t want anyone else.

You saved me in every way a person could be saved.

Just when you least expect it,
you start thinking about how he makes you laugh
& how you get butterflies when you're with him,
& you finally realize after all this time
you cared about him more than you thought..

And without him,
I didn't feel the simplicities in the world anymore.
The sky was just the sky,
and I was just a girl.
And without him,
neither seemed quite as exquisite and beautiful.

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone,
but I can tell you what it is for me.
Love is knowing all about someone and still wanting to be with them more than any other person. Love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself,
including the things you may be ashamed of.
Love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone,
but still getting weak in the knees when they walk in a room and smile at you.
You were just a phase.

Have you thought about an ex today?
I have now.
It's 4 in the morning, your phone rings, who is it?
uhh. no idea.
Do you think a lot of people think bad things about you?
probably.
Are you waiting for something?
my sister to get home.
Have you ever been awake for more then 2 nights straight?
i think not.
What's bothering you most right now?
i have to pee.
When was the last time you laughed so hard you peed yourself ?
never lolz.
Have you ever kissed someone and hated it?
oh my gosh, yes.
Is there someone you will never forget?
Of course.
Would you date someone who lived in another state?
I do currently. I live in Ohio, He lives in Indiana. And drives an hour every weekend to see me.
When's the last time you said you were fine, but really weren't?
a while ago.
Have you ever dated someone more than once?
not seriously.
Will you ever kiss the last person you kissed again?
i will, tonight. <3
What do you think of people that do drugs?
you're real cool.
Could you handle long distance relationship?
yes, but we still see each other three days a week.
Have you ever been called heartless?
mhm.
What's your relationship status?
taken.
Looking back, did you ever think you'd be where you're at in life now?
not really.
Are you ready to get into a serious relationship right now?
I'm in one.
Your number three on myspace- what do they mean to you?
I don't have one of those.
Do you like cuddling?
yesss.
Is there something special you want for Christmas?
that's forever away.
Do you hold grudges?
nope.
Have you ever been punched?
i have.
Do you like someone at the moment?
mhmm. love.
When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face?
uhh, yesterday.
Is there somebody in your life that you could not survive without?
I'm not sure.
What was the last thing you cried about?
uh. i heard my baby's heartbeat. <3
Ever kissed someone you regretted after?
yes.
Do you have a best friend you can tell stuff to and you're sure they won't tell?
mhm.
Ever receivee a really long apology?
Yep.
Does the last person you held hands with mean a lot?
everything.
When was the last time you talked to your number 2?
uh. two days ago.
Is there someone you want to fight?
nope.
When was the last time you were disappointed?
last weekend probably.
Honestly, has anyone ever seen you in your underwear?
mhmm.
Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
yeah.
Would you date someone 8 years older than you?
nooooo. thanks.
When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong?
uh. sunday.
If someone liked you right now would you want them to tell you?
no reason.
Are you anything like you were at this point last year?
eh.
Do you miss anyone?
mhm. but its okay cause its friday.
Have you ever kissed someone whose name starts with a J?
my boyfrann.
Are you dating the last boy you talked to?
nope.

Monday, 01 March 2010

<3

He was my once in a lifetime, happy ending come true. I guess I should've told him but I thought he knew.

Even though you are a liar, If you told me, right now, that you loved me and that you were sorry, I would believe you.

It's funny how people change with alcohol in their veins. You see who they really are. You know deep down inside, there's nothing hiding behind their eyes. It's just them without any lies.

You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks or even months over-analyzing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve would’ve happened or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.

A lot of people are under the impression that you get to choose who you love.

My heart, it’s like my chest can barely contain it, like it doesn’t belong to me anymore, it belongs to you. If you wanted it, I’d wish for nothing in exchange, no gifts, no goods, no demonstrations of devotion - nothing but knowing you love me too, just your heart, in exchange for mine.

After a while you learn the difference between holding a hand and falling in love. You'll learn kisses don't always mean something. Promises can be broken just as easily as they were made, and as hard as it is to believe, sometimes good byes are forever.

You tried to twist the words, but you can't change the facts; he took away your happiness and now you want it back.

Don't say you love me unless you mean it, 'cause I might do something crazy, like believe it.